Notes about stuff (blog)

When you can’t call the cops…
Call Trunk

Someone is burning down meth cook-houses.
Five houses and three charbroiled bodies so far.
A vigilante out for justice is big local news.

The crew that run the houses brings in Dennis Trunk.
He has a history of figuring things out and he’s not afraid of getting his hands dirty.

He won’t kill, unless he has to.

Except for Andrew, he’s been planning Andrew’s murder since his ex-wife met the Navy Captain. Trunk goes over every detail of the plan again and again. It will be his masterpiece.

Can he realize his dream and win Emmie back?
It only takes a little murder.

Between one and two percent of the population are psychopaths.

Trunk has found discrete services he can provide that work well with his condition.

But he’s been good at solving puzzles since he was a kid.

So when you look down at that body and think, ‘oh my god, what have I done?’ try this instead,

‘Hello Trunk, I need your help.’

https://books2read.com/u/mv2BnV

August 4, 2019

12 year anniversary….woohoo.

Public Service Announcements:

– The rotation of the Earth has stopped. If it’s dark where you are right now, well I’m afraid you’re not going to be happy for very long. But hey, you never know. There are lots of activities for the night time. Dancing, dining, concerts, many things that mostly happen at night. Scientist are at a loss to explain this phenomenon.

– Pamela Androtti and Mark Segura have been arrested for flying a drone in the restricted airspace over the Pentagon in Washington, DC. The pair of radical terrorist librarians were arrested moments after their drone carrying its toxic agent crashed into the south-west wall of the building. The toxic agent was later determined to be cow feces. Lawyers for Androtti and Segura are challenging the Department of Justice over the multiple fractures received by “the pair of guilty stinking terrorists” as they were labeled by a DOJ spokesperson. We’re still unable to report on what motivated the pair. This is not expected to be known until they face their initial arraignment hearing sometime in about 3 years time.

– Deland Bloodman, your application for drug czar for the state of Colorado has been rejected. There is no Guinness Book of Records entry for the most cannabis smoked in a single weekend. Nice try, but we looked it up. That you did time in jail for drug offenses does not automatically make you an expert on drugs. But we’d like to thank you for submitting your resume and we wish you all the best in your career search.

– The radical terrorist librarians Pamela Androtti and Mark Segura have been found dead in their holding cell. DoJ spokesperson, Ida Nokare, said that the pair completed their suicide pact by smothering each other with their pillows during the night.

– Godzilla has left Tokyo. The famed Japanese celebrity and best friend of property developers has left Tokyo and was seen swimming towards the permanent early morning sunshine of Vancouver, British Columbia. Canadian property developers are eagerly awaiting his arrival. They have a long list of areas they would like to propose as his initial stomping grounds.

July 21, 2019

Earth Journal 9 has been sent out via email.

Catch up on the story here:

Smoke and Mirrors

July 20, 2019

– Years ago Silverstein took four times the normal dosage of the psychedelic drug LSD by mistake.
He meant to take a normal dosage.
But accidents will happen.
He had conversations with beings from the 11th and 15th dimensions according to his account of the experience.
He was forever changed by the knowledge they gave him.
He left law school and began to travel the world, seeking out new cultures and customs to explore.
After five years of wandering he came home.
He got married and had two children.
But always there was the call of the open road.
It left a restlessness deep inside of him.
Silverstein died last week.
His wife and children attended his funeral.
So did I.
No one could explain the strange round lights that hovered over his grave as he was lowered into the ground.
But I knew.
They were beings from the 11th and 15th dimensions.
Come to say goodbye to a friend.
I know because I was there that night.
I spoke with them too.

– All electricity will be turned off in the central business district downtown tomorrow due to the planned robbery of the Sunset Trust Bank, the preferred bank for all things illegal. The Brill Boys will be finally making that multi-million dollar jewelry drop into their safety deposit boxes. And it seems like a couple of femme fetales want it all for themselves. You go girls. Commuters are advised that traffic lights will cease to function and should any automobile accidents occur, vehicular homicide is the preferred outcome, according to lawyers for the city.

– Pearson McAllister, you are not a good enough driver to steal that car tomorrow. Forget it. You will die in the high speed chase with police and kill a mother and two children in the crash. You should concentrate on getting a better grade on your Chemistry final. Don’t worry, your dad is going to send you $200 tomorrow.

– Mitch Ferro, of no known fixed address, tomorrow is NOT the end of the world. You need to change your sign.  But hey, think about this, you only missed by one day. That’s something to be proud of, isn’t it.

July 18, 2019

Hey, look over there. The shadow over in the back corner of the closet. The darkness so black it steals depth perception and suggests the infinite.
 
It’s a portal.
 
I’m serious, no kidding.
 
Where to?
 
Klujos in the Mestara Galaxy, the capital city Trin, to be specific.
 
About two blocks from the sports arena, in the alley behind the restaurants.
 
Not a great smelling destination but its discrete enough for someone using illegal technology.
 
We need to be careful.
 
I’m not welcome there and you certainly aren’t.
 
They’ll shoot you down like a dog if they find out you’re from Earth.
 
And they’ll claim the reward too.
 
So we gotta blend in, you see? Nice and casual.
 
The portal has been lying on Earth, invisible and inactive for almost 1,000 years.
 
Your planet is in quarantine, so nobody is allowed to even come close to Earth.
 
The entire solar system is off limits.
 
Remember when you tripped yesterday and dropped all the crap you were carrying and started swearing?
 
You matched the tonal password somehow and it was activated.
 
This is really good news, the best…ever.
 
I’ve been looking for that damned thing for years.
 
Grab your shit. Let’s go.
 
Comfortable shoes. You’ll want to put on some comfortable shoes.
 
I can’t believe I ever lost the damned thing.
 
But I was in a hurry to get to Earth and it was quite a rough landing.
 
Damned police droids, I hate them.

July 15, 2019

Another ‘I Hate Everyone’ rally is being scheduled for sometime next week.
 
The two surviving organizers, Zoey and Bryce have decided to press on despite recent events.
 
“We need to show the world that we are resolved to stand strong in our hatred of others. It’s a matter of principle with us now,” said Zoey, who was immediately corrected by Bryce.
 
“It’s more than a simple principle. It’s part of our moral foundation.”
 
Zoey then further added, “Hatred has always been a part of my life.”
 
Bryce responded, “Are you trying to outdo me again? You’re always so competitive with me.”
 
Zoey was last seen headed for her car and mumbling about ‘firepower’.

July 13, 2019

Tomorrow there will be a another solar eclipse, the third one in less than a week. This occurs when the Sun, Moon, and Earth are in line. Scientists are having a hard time explaining the sudden frequency. However the people on the Island of Pool believe that it marks the coming of the Great Chalk Lord who will perform a three-ball trick shot sending the Earth hurtling towards the Great Corner Pocket (black hole) at the center of the Milky Way Galaxy. But they are savages and believe a lot of things without evidence even though our solar system has begun to smell of stale beer and cigarettes.

July 12, 2019

Words on screen today, about 1,884

Set up tweets of PSAs for next week

Dropped Friday Freebie notice on Reddit for The Robespierre Conspiracy

It’s enjoying to write about Wingut and Plunk again.

Let me ask you this: what would you do if you found out your species only lived twenty years?

Inde, is Frederick’s right hand woman and is now fifteen years old but looks like she is in her late fifties.  For her, killing someone over the age of twenty is simple fairness, forced equality.

Inde is chaos in human form.

July 11, 2019

The coin was tossed and the antagonist won. Frederick will open The End of Time. 

Progress Report:

– The End of Time is beginning to move faster. Just had to get the work rhythm set up. Write Earth Journals and Smoke and Mirrors on Mon-Wed, write The End of Time Thurs-Fri (and any spare time on the weekends).

– Thank you to Mazda for making Miata batteries that are small and easily fit in the battery area behind the seat of my MG. No more scraped fingers and knuckles.

– So far, No cursing July is going poorly. 11 times so far. A very dismal showing. I must remain vigilant….hahaha. At least No Bread is going easily. I’m not really a foodie so that makes it easy. Just put something healthy in front of me, preferably spicy. Sure I like pizza, but it’s just food.

July 10, 2019

2,030 words today

A nice theme has come into Earth Journals.

– The Reptile Center of Florida has posted record earnings. CFO Donna Nuff said a lower costs was the primary driver as well as excellent attendance from the community.

– The Invisible Mailman has come and gone again today. He has driven the invisible mail truck up and down your neighborhood delivering the mail, always darting from one house to the other as if he could be seen like the rest of us. I don’t think anyone has told him that he is invisible. Maybe he doesn’t remember the accident.

– Ingrid Swarthi has reported that another snake was found in her downstairs toilet again. Her neighbors The Reptile Center of Florida have denied the snake being one of theirs. ‘Sure the last six were ours…but this one, now way it’s one of ours. Just look at it. It’s aggressive and highly venomous. But we’ll capture it and give it a safe and secure home at the Reptile Center of Florida because that’s what good neighbors do’.

– The Good Deed Society has its weekly meeting tonight. An open forum with public comment will mark the first hour followed by the official society balloting on Good Deed of the Year. It’s been a hotly contested race between George Stewart’s ‘Got my wife a clean fork’ versus Michael Dressly’s ‘Drove my kid to baseball practice more than once’. You must be in attendance to vote.

– The Williams family has reported finding another alligator in their pool. The seven foot gator was sunning itself on the diving board when the family came home from a day at the beach. Animal Control were called to rescue the gator before it became too comfortable with its surroundings and particularly the new floating rafts with cold drink storage. The Reptile Center of Florida has offered to give the animal a good home. The Williams dog, Frou Frou is still missing and presumed to have run away when it saw the gator.

– Police are still baffled by the disappearance of fourteen people so far this year in the vicinity of the Reptile Center.

July 3rd, 2019

Word Count: 3,059 for today. Good enough but not great.
 
Duff is struggling to fit in on Earth. The failure of the Optool and her shape shifting every time she looked at someone has spooked her.
 
Her understanding of human language is still causing her problems. But she has made huge strides recently. Synonyms, there are too many of them and that confuses her. Also words with multiple meaning. And sarcasm…that is really hard.
 
Else where, the universe is stable for now. However things in beginning to become unraveled in the prior iterations.
 
11% is the crucial number. When a prior version of the universe avoids it’s already happened extinction event due to time travel, it is at 11% when the next iteration flips from being only slight affected to experiencing widespread and rapid unraveling. It’s no longer asteroids and small planets that disappear. It becomes solar systems and entire galaxies.
 
Professors Wingut and Plunk are going to need some help if they are going to stop The End of Time.

July 2nd, 2019

Family visits have been great fun.
 
A month without cursing – results.
 
Despite my best efforts I failed 43 times during the month of June. Many of the instances were a matter of Buy One – Get One FREE. I’d say my favorite synonym for fornication, then when I realized I had said it, I’d immediately say my favorite synonym for feces.
 
It was such a disappointing result that the no cursing month has been extended to July. It is my belief that I can do much better.
 
So far, I’m at -1 this month. On the long drive home from Mississippi back to Jacksonville yesterday I was deeply disappointed by another driver.
 
A real sphincter behind the wheel.
 
Also for July – NO BREAD!!
 
So far, so easy. But hey it’s only the 2nd of the month. I still expect this to be an easy challenge. Just eat other stuff. Simple.
 
Back to work….back to work, the inner demon demands.

June 4th: 2019

Rather than spend time rotating single book deals, and setting up boxset pricing rotation, I’m going with a $0.99 for everything set and forget pricing while I crank out the next book and more Earth Journals.

You can find the link to everything here:

https://stevemauthor.com/shameless-self-promotion-list-of-books/

Hope you find something you like.

May 27: 2019

Earth Journals have begun.

https://stevemauthor.com/earth-journals/

New books covers for the History Department series.

A Partial History of the Universe – Books 1 – 3 of the History Department series is on sale everywhere for $0.99

http://books2read.com/u/bWZAkq

The Present and the History Department at the University of Centrum Kath (Book 6) has been released.

The End of Time and the History Department at the University of Centrum Kath (Book 7) is being outlined and writing starts in the next couple of days.

June 13: 2018

A book cover has been born:

An intergalactic empire versus a junior high science teacher and infinity – a fair fight.

Weekend To-Do List

Break up with boyfriend – Check
Quit smoking – In progress
Go camping – In progress
Alien Abduction – Imminent?
Help save the universe – WTF?!

Elaine McGee is the science teacher and chess coach at Krauss Junior High. She’s been going through a bad patch recently and is trying to make changes to turn her life around. She is about to get some unexpected help from the largest mathematical concept.

Chiro Montal is First Minister of the Goodness Empire, an alliance of empires that rule eighty percent of the universe. He’s ruthless and crafty. As the leader of the largest of five factions, former enemies come together after centuries of warfare, Chiro navigates the bumpy landscape of cooperation. The factions all share one trait, they are authoritarian regimes, that ugly, dangerous blend of industry, government, media and military where the only disagreement allowed is over who agrees the most. Chiro finally has the means to crush the rebel areas of the outer spiral arms.

Professor Lawrence Chu is a math professor at the University of Bilcor-Anders in the outer spiral arm of the Milky Way Galaxy. Professor Chu believes he might have solved an unsolvable problem. If true, the rebels may have a formidable new weapon.

Oflap Bueller is a navigator second class that cannot avoid the wrath of her commander. Bueller keeps having these ideas that sound really good until they go wrong. Will Pluto survive Bueller?

Before the History Department at the University of Centrum Kath there was the Math Department and the Numeracy Committee. Find out how the whole thing started with this prequel. No experience necessary.

Read IMPROBABLES: a satire about very large numbers now before your planet self-destructs (currently a 63.82% probability).

Words your mother won’t like? Definitely.
Imaginary Sex? Of course.
Satirical Viewpoints? Overwhelmingly.

This book description conforms to the exception made for FACTION (Facts Told as Fiction) in accordance with Section 183.17 of the Charter of the History Department at the University of Centrum Kath, the largest repository of knowledge and learning in the universe.

Chuckling through a review yesterday.